Gurbbalubba!

A couple days ago, you texted me again- “hey.” I almost wanted to laugh out loud, it was that typical of you. I won’t deny that I’m still hopelessly attracted to you, for all your flaws and perfections I guess, I don’t really know. When it really comes down to it, and I dissect every fragment of your being, there isn’t really anything all that amazing about you.

I don’t know what you wanted with that simple greeting. I didn’t text back, and that was it. I guess your ‘hey’ was supposed to be an attempt. Should I be impressed? Apparently it takes a lot for you to find that courage to make an effort, whatever your complex is, I’ve tried too many times to figure you out.

You told me you’d try to open yourself up, that you’d bring those walls down, but you didn’t, and I’m not going to push you. Maybe I can’t be like her and force things into your life, and though you resent her and regret her, she’s the only person you will yield to. I know, it sounds twisted, I guess it’s beautiful in your own way - who am I to judge?

It’s kind of meaningless, isn’t it, when things happen only because they’ve been forced that way?

I want to be friends again, lovers, I want to be with you for a night or two, but I won’t let myself. You are buried so deep within, it’s impossible now to try anymore. Once, twice, thrice. I suppose you’re going to contact me in a couple weeks again, and then before you know it a year will pass and a simple “hey” will pop up somewhere from you to me. But maybe by then I’ll be with someone else and your static position in my life will finally become clear.

“Nevermind, I’ll find someone like you. I wish nothing but the best for you too. Don’t forget me, I beg, I’ll remember you said, “Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead.”

Adele says it best.

November 10, 2011 | 6:46 21 notes