I spend so much time wishing that I could take back what I said. Not that I didn’t mean it- I guess I just wish I had said more and told you all the things I really wanted to say.
Like how you are the most lovely person I have ever met. Even now, I wish I could feel your warmth again and tell you how much of a joy it was to be in your company, and that despite all the pain, I had never felt more alive than when I was with you. And I have to believe you felt it too, that passion and that connection. And in those moments there was only us, and I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you. You made me feel so much, so many beautiful and colorful emotions that felt so completely foreign and indescribable.
I want to look back at this and smile, not lament with bitter regret on what could have been. I want to honor those couple of months where I was given the opportunity to have you in my life. Maybe if we cross paths in the future, we’ll find solace in each other’s company again. But maybe not, and I will be okay with it.